Is it uncomfortable for you when people ask you what you want for a gift?

Q: For example, a co-worker whom I had only spoken to in passing a few times learned that I got married about a year after the fact. She insisted (on maybe ten different occasions) that I tell her what I wanted for a wedding gift. (Eventually she gave up when I never told her anything.) Also, a relative asks for every event what and my husband want for Christmas, birthdays, housewarming (we didn't even have a housewarming party), anniversaries, you name it. This makes me uncomfortable because I feel like I am ordering something to be delivered free of charge. Or like I am treating that person like my personal shopper and they owe me something, which they don't. In the case of the relative, I feel that person should know me well enough not to have to ask, and they generally complain about the choice I make anyway, so I stopped choosing. Am I wrong? Would you be uncomfortable also?

A: I hate it when people do that! It puts you in a bad situation. If you don't tell them what you want, then you are being difficult. If you do, then you are being spoiled. I'm in a similar pickle. I just got married on Saturday. It was a quick, very informal ceremony with the Justice of the Peace. My husband is being deployed soon, so we will have a nice ceremony when he returns. We expect no gifts right now. This woman who is the girlfriend of one of my husband's friends keeps sending me e-mails asking me for my address so she can send a gift. I hardly know this person and I don't feel comfortable telling her where to send the gift! I feel like that would be a bit tasteless on my part! In all honesty, she can just ask her boyfriend where we live and be done with it. Anyway, sorry for rambling. Yes, people asking me what I want for a gift does make me feel uncomfortable and no, you are not wrong.

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