Q: I am an English Country dancer, but he crushes my bosom against his chest. I hate this guy for doing this to me, but he is much stronger than I am and I think he's kind of sadistic too. The first time I ever came to the dance. As we danced he stomped on my first very hard, purposefully I think, and told me that I was wearing the wrong shoes. It is community dance, so pretty much if I'm there I have to dance with him at some point because we all dance together. I think I freeze and I don't know what to do. I think the best thing I can do is not dance with him when we change partners, but this would mess things up. Isn't there something I can say to him to put him in his place?? Ideas please because I don't want to give up dancing. Don't tell me that I should say, "please sir don't hold me like that you make me uncomfortable" He will gossip about me to the other dancers... I need something better- he doesn't care if I'm uncomfortable
A: Put up your arm, elbow out when he starts to pull you to him. Keep it there. Say stop. If he doesn't stop, scream stop. If he won't respect that, refuse to dance with him. What kind of gossip are you afraid of? If you think he'll say something really terrible, talk to your friends in the group and ask their opinion. Maybe someone else has a problem with him and you can go in together. Decide you won't make him keep you from attending and do something about it. The only other thing I can think of is to wear some sort of breast plate under your top. Or, really pad yourself up so it doesn't hurt or doesn't turn him on. Or, start nattering loudly in his ear the whole time he is dancing with you. Something totally inane, like what a friend's infant did. Make up a boring story. No breathing. Talk, talk, talk. Or sing some song other than the one playing. This is best when you have a perfectly horrible voice.