Q: I have resolved to stop drinking. This is it for me. I have built my social life around activities that involve drinking. A hurricane recently hit and I got drunk with some neighbors and embarrassed myself. I met some new neighbors and ended up saying some sexually inappropriate things. I realized what I had done and apologized, but the damage was done. I am not sure how to approach this situation. I am going to see these people in passing everyday. I guess I should have done 3 separate questions. One about the social aspect, another about the specific incident, and a third on any advice. You are welcome to comment on all. Thanks.
A: Been there, done that, got a tee shirt. Welcome. Before I quit, I decided I was educated enough, determined enough, etc. to just control my drinking. One drink, no problem. Two drinks, still no problem. Three drinks, still doing fine. Somewhere between 3 and 4, I lost control. Every time. After many incidents (the details of which I'll spare you), I learned the trick to controlling alcohol. You leave the lid on. Period. It's just that simple. As long as I never take the lid off that bottle or can, I'm in absolute control. Now, you'd think an educated person would have figured that out before all the woes I suffered. I've heard it said if alcohol causes you problems, alcohol is a problem. It sounds like it's caused you a few problems, and take my word for it, they only get worse and worse. I can not drink socially. You probably can't either. You don't have to tell folks you're an alcoholic or label yourself. Just say no, thank you, I'll have just a cola. Believe me, a lot of intelligent people do not drink even though they've never had a problem with it. These days, drinking is almost up there with smoking -- it's just not a really good idea. Having fun without drinking is awkward at first, but it gets easier and easier until you wonder why you ever needed it at all. I know some people are going to tell you to go to AA. That helps a lot of people, and I've been myself. It's not for everyone, but do whatever you need to do. Good luck, and remember to leave the lid on... Edit: As for the fallout from your hurricane party, what's past is history. You can't change it. Just apologize, pay for anything you may have broken, and don't repeat the mistake.
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